5 Steps to Stop Sugarcoating & Speak Your Truth

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Source: http://ashleyturner.org/stress-relief/truth-be-told/

The truth shall set you free! Clean + simple. Nothing else liberates us, frees up stuck energy, lightens our load as much as taking an honest look at what’s happening, seeing things clearly and speaking the truth with ease and grace.

Here are 5 simple steps to help you start living and telling the truth.

1. NOTICE in what circumstances or around whom you tend to withhold your Truth or sugarcoat.

Where do you find yourself ‘talking in circles’ or never getting to the ‘heart of the matter’?

Often this happens with colleagues, or other people in our career that we may feel intimidated by or we feel that they have ‘power over us’.

Begin to notice who triggers you to keep quiet or hesitate. Do they remind you of a critical teacher or parent? A dominating sibling? The girl in your grade school who always knew the right answer before you? Or are you trying to protect a lover, co-worker or spouse by not clearly stating your needs, concerns or offering relevant constructive criticism?

Awareness is everything. Just noticing where we shut ourselves down (or up) is the start of changing the pattern.

2. Give yourself permission to TAKE YOUR TIME to build up your courage + get clear.

Speaking truth is a muscle we build. Sometimes, we need a little extra nudge or the ‘inner cheerleader’ to encourage us to fully express ourselves. Instead of beating yourself up for not saying what you really wanted to on that phone call, congratulate yourself for noticing the habit of avoidance or sugarcoating. Then, make a vow to call the person back or set an appropriate time to revisit the conversation.

Sometimes, it takes awhile to develop the clarity of what we really want to say and how. It may be necessary to remove ourselves from the emotion of the moment and pause to drop into your center, or Core Self, and feel what is underneath the surface and needs to be said.

3. TRUST that “The Truth Shall Set You Free”.

Yes, this is a nearly universal tenant in the world’s ancient wisdom traditions (the Bible, the Yoga Sutras).

In yoga, Satya, or Truth, is the second (only after non-violence) of ten lifestyle foundations (yamas and niyamas) that naturally set us up for freedom and happiness.

Unequivocally, when we live a life based in truth (actions and words), we are happier. It may be the road less traveled, and seem a little more arduous at times, but all those little ways we lie to ourselves and each other clog and sap our energy and unconsciously hold us back from what we really want. We end up wasting a lot of time when we drag our feet and stall instead of facing the music. Often we end up depressed or negative and aren’t sure why – but our energy is actually turning in on itself and on some level we feel this self-abaondonment and mistrust.

Truth cuts through illusion. When we speak truth, we are wielding a sword. It slices the fog of illusion and sugarcoating. This will liberate every single relationship you have and not only set you free, but every other person in the circumstance or moment, as well.

4. Have NO ATTACHMENT to how or if your Truth is received. (more on this next week in ‘Hearing the Truth’)

Your Truth is subjective. It may not be anyone else’s truth or they may very well have their own version of it. However, your Truth is valid! It deserves to be spoken. It deserves to be heard. We can’t control someone else’s perception, but we can give our truth a voice.

Before you begin to speak, take a moment to drop in + let go:
– Feel into your center.
– Take a couple deep breaths.
– Get grounded and dissolve your attachment to any outcome.
– Release your attachment to it being heard or validated in any way from the outside.
– Know that your speaking truth and standing up for your inner voice is enough.

5. Practice this affirmation: “My voice is necessary. What I have to say is valuable.”

Many of us did not have role models who demonstrated healthy communication. Perhaps, you had a sibling who was always dominating the conversation and you could never get a word in edgewise. Or you were one in a long line of siblings and home was chaotic, loud and overwhelming. Maybe, your mother always deferred to your father and never voiced her true opinions and feelings. Or maybe your family was living a pack of lies to cover up alcoholism, sexual abuse or family secrets. These patterns are deeply ingrained and it’s necessary to lay down new tracks in the unconscious mind.

Practice this mantra every time you feel yourself hesitating to speak your honest opinion and state your needs:

“My voice is necessary. What I have to say is valuable.”

Give yourself permission to be heard. Your truth is just as valuable as everyone else’s!

Wanna learn more about how to bravely speak your truth? Schedule a free coaching call with me. Click the link below to sign up!

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